Preparations

God has His own special way in preparing us for the events to come. May 22nd is right around the corner, and judging by how quickly these past few weeks have flown by I know it will be here before I’m mentally prepared. But how do I mentally prepare for such a huge event? Time, prayer, trust all play a huge part. I’ve been nervous for this day, more nervous than I was for the first surgery, why? I am not sure but I feel a lot more anxiety this time. I thought the second time around would be easier to prepare for but it’s the opposite. Maybe it’s because she will be set back much further this time? Or maybe because it is a longer harder surgery to recover from, or the fact that if this surgery doesn’t work as well as we are hoping I don’t have another surgery to fall back on? Whatever the reasoning, I’m still more antsy this time. Some days I’m so busy and caught up in the moment I forget it’s coming in just 3 weeks. All of our weekends between now and then are full up and booked, our weeks have begun to mush together and before I know it they are gone and we are one week closer to surgery! A million half written lists in my head of what I should/need to get done before the day is here, but I never get back to them or remember what I though to put on it. A pen and paper sure would work better than my crazy brain right now 😋. But instead of organizing, spring cleaning, getting ahead, we have been soaking up the sun, spending time together as a little family, playing, watching Frozen and cuddling up on the couch together! It’s time to relax and enjoy what this time holds, because in just a few short weeks things will change and things will be different for miss Colbey Raye. God has given Colbey these last few months to make leaps and bounds she wouldn’t have made if it wasn’t for her first surgery. she’s grown, she has learned new skills, she has established a sweet, crazy, stubborn mind of her own that we love so much and enjoy every day! Even though she ignores everything I say, maybe she just doesn’t understand me lol, but I can’t ever be frustrated because she smiles, laughs and gives the biggest hugs in those situations! She eats everything in sight, grass, sand, rocks, dandelions, cat fur, fuzz, you name it she eats it and she thinks it all tastes amazing!! She gets mad when I take them away and she crawls right over to where she sees another tasty treat and we repeat, allllll dayyyy longggg… Haha😄. I love her hugs, her kisses, her smiles, I don’t want to miss a single one! Last time post surgery took those sweet smiles and hugs for a little while, but they slowly returned day by day and about 2 weeks post op she returned to her happy smily self, it was such a relief! This is going to be one of the hardest things for me about surgery, it’s hard to see such a happy girl, become unhappy and uncomfortable to the point she isn’t able to give those smiles. Back to preparations, today has been a smile less day from our sweet girl 😥. It’s been a hard day for her, she’s had a few seizures and has been very tired, grumpy and uncomfortable. Demanding a lot of snuggles, attention and sleep! Days with seizures are reminders of why we pushed for this surgery, reminders of old days with 50+seizures a day, reminders that this is the best rout to take even though it’s a hard road to place your baby on. God prepares us for what’s to come and for what we need to handle, I’m so thankful for experiences is my life that have eased this road of being a mommy to a very special little girl! And so very thankful for the strength, courage, determination and support this year has brought me and my family. Somedays I feel like I’ve taken on the world! And other days, like today, I can see that this world has so much more for me to concur. It’s just the beginning of a long tremendous journey. One I look forward to traveling, though worry may come, and strife may follow, faith, prayer, and trust will be there to guide us. Love the life you have!! Crazy, amazing, bumpy and all I love this life and this growing family He has blessed me with!

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