The days a seizure hits

One seizure can change the course of the whole day. For Colbey Raye they usually don’t come singly. Once the first one of the day comes I feel myself constantly watching and waiting for the next one to hit, the thought of missing one haunts me! How many days will it be before my body relaxes and I’m not constantly up in arms looking in her direction every 20 seconds? Not only do they usually come a few at a time they only last 20-40 seconds each. How can I possibly catch every 30second seizure? I know I can’t, but I try my hardest. The shorter and more infrequent they are the less her doctors worry, but the look of fear, uncertainty and confusion plastered all over her face is more than a mother needs to know this is nothing to down play. Every second of every seizure is damaging, microscopically maybe, but none the less harmful. These events don’t just change the course of my day, or Colbey Raye’s day but also Austyn Jaynes. Maybe she can sense my discomfort, or my fear, but she can go from being happy, independent and needing nothing from me to a magnet with a force so strong nothing can pull her from my side. She wants to be held, to be rocked, and will just sit at my feet while I do the daily chores. I feel bad for her, and I wish I could sit and rock her pretending there is nothing else going on around us! But our life isn’t easily paused, and we must continue with our normal routines and carry on with the day, giving God the wheel so we can brace our selves during the sharp turns.




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